I guess I miss the Comfort. The comfort of knowing that someone is out there for me. Someone who genuinely cared. Someone who I could talk to about my true feelings. I'm tired of having fake friends, I'm tired of giving someone what they want from me, I'm tired of being the good guy, I'm tired of making my parents worry. I'm tired of hearing dishonest words, Im tired of caring about friends who i really care about, who i worry about, I'm tired of not doing something that is good for me. I miss the innocence that we all had Once. I miss when I genuienly had fun. I miss creating. I miss destroying. I wanted to be sad, now that im sad I miss feeling okay. I Us3d to have the thoughts of blowing out my fucking brains, but theres nothing i could ever do about the pain that is constantly in my chest. Where were they when i was drowning in pain, every single time i lose i start to feel the pain. I cant seem to fade away this pain thats in my brain. Fkkk mannnnnn i don't feel the fucking same. If only someone could see the distorted memories, pain in the eyes that are constantly trying to be free, but i cant seem to let free. I want to feel alive. I don't even know what is the truth and what's a lie anymore! I miss the presence of love and comfort. I dont know what to talk about anymore. How did i get here ??? Im constantly searching for the positive side to everything... im still searching. Theres noone there to hold when the pain begins. I hate having to pretend to be the perfect me. I hate giving out love for free. I guess im at a loss of words. Theres so much things that create these feelings, oh its so sad words cant express this utter feelings.